One is the Loneliest Number…

Humans are by nature social animals. When isolated the alarm bells go off as they would for hunger, physical pain or thirst. An isolated place is the breeding grounds for negative thinking to take effect. Thought processes become literal in our minds as we beat ourselves up, only to remain isolated.
Our inner thoughts become our worst enemy. Constantly putting one’s self down and creating monsters in our head. Our inner thoughts must be treated as though they are external and must be dealt with.
It is inconceivable and extremely difficult to relay feelings and pain to others. So, the vicious cycle of negative self-images can paralyze. The intrusive thoughts must be dealt with as I stated above. To me “quick fix” advice is nonsensical. Just read your bible someone may say. I think that is great advice but in reality, the intrusive thoughts are just too much for reading the bible for some people.
Spirituality can sometimes complicate your inner voices. There are far too many legalistic, right-wing nuts who want to control you and your thoughts. And if you don’t take heed to their advice the inner thoughts can really make you feel bad as a person. On the other hand, there are many good-willed Christians who have a great deal of balance and to me, that is a huge gift to have.
I believe the first step is to not criticize yourself and tell yourself it is okay if you are lonely and to tell yourself you’re not a bad person. Because loneliness has underlying problems and beginnings such as heredity, divorce, loss of loved ones, abuse, abandonment by friends, etc..
Where I live I see so much loneliness and it breaks my heart. So many people with fascinating pasts but are alone now. Loss of family members, abandonment by family and friends. I often times call them the “invisible people” or the “throwaways of society” in some instances. Let’s just hurry up and throw them in the “somewhat functional nursing home.”
It really is one of the saddest things I’ve ever witnessed.
I think after decades of loneliness it just becomes a way of life for some. It sucks, but it is a part of life and life is a struggle for all of us. I think the best things you can do is to help yourself and others around you.
It is an unfortunate way of life because you miss out on so much of life. Vacations, girlfriends/boyfriends, not sharing your talents. I believe loneliness strikes us all at different points. However, if you don’t have chronic loneliness. Consider yourself blessed.written by John Harper

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Why Every Church MUST Minister to Singles

Have you noticed that most churches cater to the “traditional” family? You know, Mom, Dad and the 2.2 kids. And, these persons should be ministered to! But, what about the 51% of the population who are not married? That’s right, over half the population is unmarried! And, most don’t go to church (About 15%) It would seem that churches that want to succeed in evangelism would seek out the lost and not care if they are married or single.
Of course, there are rational reasons to avoid the unmarried.
Many are “needy”. Especially, single mothers and widows. Too much trouble! Funny how the Bible (James 1:27) calls this pure religion.
Financial strain. (James, again, 2:1-7) condemns this thought process. And while some unmarried individuals are short of cash….. we remember that others (like Bill Gates who was a BILLIONAIRE long before he married) have financial stability.
Statistics show that (some) kids of single parents are difficult and undisciplined. Yes, this group needs more mentoring. Couldn’t you be part of the solution? After all, the church is to save the lost.
What about “shacking up”? Yes, many people are co-habitating without marriage, even raising children. Many SENIORS are doing the same. And it is not in God’s plan. But, providing support, encouragement and understanding is in HIS will. Only with patience and a good example will Christians make a difference to the unchurched.
We must accept that their is an issue!

Statistics show that……

* 40% of our children are in a single parent home

* 40% of newborns are born to single parents

* 15% of single parents attend a church on a regular basis

* 90% of church attending adults never attend regularly after a divorce

Statistics are from the U.S. Census (2010) and The 2015 Rutgers University Marriage and Family Forum with influence from Christianity today.

Marriage is Ugly (revisit from the past)

Marriage is ugly, you see the absolute worst in someone. You see them when they’re mad, sad, being stubborn, when they’re so unlovable they make you scream. But you also get to see them when they are laughing so hard that tears run down their face, and they can’t help but let out those weird gurgling noises.

You see them at 3am when the world is asleep except you two, and you’re eating in the middle of the kitchen floor. You get to see the side of them that no one else does, and it’s not always pretty. Its snorting while laughing, its the tears when it feels like its all crashing down, its the farting, its the bedhead and bad breath, its the random dances, its the anger and the joy.

Marriage isn’t a beautiful thing, but it is amazing. It’s knowing that someone loves you so much, and won’t leave you even though you said something nasty. It’s having someone have your back no matter what. Its fights over stupid things, like someone not doing the dishes or picking up after themselves. And it’s those nights you fall asleep in each others arms, feeling like there will never be enough time with them. It’s cleaning up their throw up, or just rubbing their back when they’re sick. It’s the dirtiest, hardest, most rewarding job there is.
Because at the end of the day you get to crawl into bed with your best friend, the weirdest, most annoying, loving, goofy, perfect person that you know. Marriage is not beautiful, but it’s one heaven of a ride.

Thanks to Briana Delano for sharing this excellent article of reality! ❤️