The Dating Game (Really?) Part 1

The Dating Game (Really?) Part 1


The Dating Game! Really? You remember the cheesy host, the guest single and the 3 suitors. The bachelor asked each bachelorette (or vise versa) questions and chose a date sight unseen…….Incidentally, both Billy Crystal and Jay Leno were guests early in their careers…NOBODY would date this way would they?

You might be surprised that there was Christian dating show ************where the congregation helps the single find a mate. Goodness! What do you think about that. Would you want your preacher or the sister on row 4 to set you up?


What does the BIBLE say about dating? hmmmmmm….strangely silent………..

adam and eve

Now, in the beginning God saw that it wasn’t good for man to be alone so he produced Eve and Adam was ….overwhelmed….I think he said, “Kazinga!” Do you wonder if He might help in your search for a mate?

Jacob, Rachel and Leah

Now, we know that Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac (Rebekkah). Would you want your parents to choose your spouse? Still happens in many countries……..lower divorce rate too.

Jacob chose his own wife. He was in love with Rachel. But, he got more than he bargained for. You remember that he got TWO wives and 2 additional mistresses for only 14 years of hard labor.


Unfortunately, David’s method of finding women most resembled the modern times. He laid out of work, was a peeping Tom, lured and seduced a married woman and tried to get off scott free…..Oh yeah! And he was already married and had neglected at least one wife….

Song of Solomon

Ah…but his son Solomon was the romantic. Shoulda been. With 700 wives and 300 porcupines, he should have known women. I like where he told her she was pretty because her teeth matched……………..

Of course, we can go to 1 Corinthians 7 for lots of info on marriage, divorce, etc. If you are burning with temptation, get married….So, why isn’t it that easy?


5 Toughest Single Mom Struggles

 Single Parents probably read the title of this article and think, “Ha! They’ve narrowed it down to five?” And in fairness, we realize that the challenges of caring for kids alone are innumerable. But there are some hardships unique to the individual, and others that are hard time and time again from our single-mom friends. So this list is an overview of those common single mom struggles, along with some encouragements and suggestions to help you deal with them.

1. Financial strain.

The most common life events that lead to single parenthood—death, divorce, etc.—upset more than just your marital status. They upset your financial balance, and leave one adult shouldering a load that is typically carried by two. Even if you’re a single adoptive parent and chose the challenge of going it alone, it’s still tough. Single moms often hang in limbo waiting for child support that never arrives or paying attorneys to pursue what should be paid. There always seems to be a little less in the checking account than what your kids need.

  • While you can’t control others (like an ex-spouse), you can control your own decisions and get organized and intentional about how you handle your money to lessen the stress. Consult with a financial planner, or take a course at your church like Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University to help make every dollar go as far as possible. And remember: what your children need most—your love—you do have in abundance. Lavish them with that, and lay down the guilt of not being able to give them every material thing they desire.

2. Social isolation.

Single moms tell us that they sometimes feel trapped underneath a mountain of responsibility that never allows them to invest in friendships, much less find another companion for life. Working single moms say the guilt of leaving your kids in the evening to do something just for yourself is crushing. Add to that the cost of hiring a sitter and getting out of the house for adult interaction seems almost impossible.

  • You need friendships and encouragement, so this is not a frivolous concern. Look for environments that allow for some social time for you while keeping the kids occupied or entertained: a church small group that offers childcare, an exercise class at a gym with a kids’ space, or a play date with other parents. And maybe once a month, splurge for that sitter or trade out childcare with another parent to actually go to dinner with friends and really talk about what’s going on in your life.

3. Decision pressure.

Parenting is hard. There are lots of gray areas and the game changes daily as your children grow. For married parents, there’s at least another adult to talk things out with, and to share the burden of making tough decisions. Single parents bear the weight of all of those tough calls—where to go to school, which friends are okay, or when a child is mature enough for a new privilege or responsibility—alone. The emotional burden can wear a mom down in a hurry.

  • Seek out a trusted parenting mentor or peer to bounce some thoughts off of. It might be a friend from church, your own parents, or a pastor or counselor. Make sure your chosen sounding board shares your fundamental values so you’ll be certain to receive advice that matches up with them. Although the final parenting decision will still be yours to make, getting some feedback on your parental plan can lessen your anxiety and embolden you to do the hard things that parenting sometimes requires.

4. Guilt.

Is there any end to the guilt a single parent feels? If you know that your decisions (some of which you may regret) contributed to your current family status, it’s especially present. There’s guilt about the financial things you can’t provide, guilt about the time you spend away from them, guilt about the things you just can’t do because of your situation. Regardless of how your children became the kids of a single parent, you worry daily about the effect that it’s having on them and feel responsible.

  • If your single status is the result of a poor decision: own your mistake, learn from it, and move on. We all make mistakes, and the guilt we feel is only helpful inasmuch as it helps us to correct problems and become better people. If your current situation is the result of the mistakes of another, do yourself a favor and forgive. The burden of anger is too much for you to bear forever. You can’t get in a time machine and fix the past, but you can do your best to make today better—so focus your energy there. Work on relationships with your kids’ other parent/step-parent so that they feel less friction. Be a great example today and trust God to fill in the gaps that are beyond your reach.

5. Fatigue.

Let’s face it: you’re doing alone what was designed to be a two-person job. The fact that you often feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually worn out is not just your imagination. But because your kids depend on you, you can’t afford to push yourself past a certain point. You must take care of yourself and your health in order to be there for them.

  • Find ways to take a breather, even if you have to swap out child care with another single parent to make it happen. Spend that time recharging in some way that will continue to pay benefits when the busyness kicks back in: with exercise, spiritual growth, or good, old-fashioned sleep. Take a look at these quick and easy energy boosters for ideas! It’s not selfish to maintain the engine that keeps your home running: you.

Single moms, what struggle do you think should be added to the list?

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

What’s love got to do, got to do with it
What’s love but a second hand emotion
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken????

     Ahh, yes! Sing it Tina!

Tina Turner knows a little about disappointment! Her ex husband, Ike, used her for a punching bag as well as for the cash cow that her talent was in the late 60’s and early 70’s. Drugs, alcohol and outright meanness defined Ike.  And how did Tina get there? Love…. She gave her heart to an unworthy man. Of course, that is half of the story.

As a single, what does love have to do with it? Well, we might want to love someone to have companionship….. I have heard that a cat or dog is much more faithful and appreciative. I know our poor old hound dog loves us despite being often overlooked and neglected. We might want to love someone for security…. A nice .38 Special or a house alarm could also help! Or a barking dog….. We might want to love someone for conversation. Yep, talk to the wife. About? The kids didn’t do their chores? You are sick and tired of the workplace? Why Folgers isn’t the greatest coffee? Hmmm. Well, maybe we might want to love someone to have sex! Great idea! Seems people have been hooking up for centuries. Seems that married people have less sex than the single people (sometimes even church people… sadly… trust me on this… people tell me much too much).

So, what does love got to do with it?

February 16-18, the Meridian Woods Church of Christ is hosting the 2018 LAUNCH Singles Weekend in Tallahassee….. Maybe we will get some answers………… Be there or be square… (ha! that’s kinda outdated… but funny)