Does Getting Married Kill Your Sex Life?

Clarification note: One of the biggest shocks and disappointments of my years of Singles ministry is that “so many” of our church singles are sexually active…..a shame…………

“It was the night before my wedding and “out of tradition” I didn’t sleep with my husband to be that night………….what if it was “our last chance ” for “mind blowing sex”?   —-AND—  in the twenty years of dating I realized that sex was never as good as in the early days of a relationship…………..those relationships were disposable….

What does this have to do with being a Christian you ask. As a “good” Christian single, I felt I certainly had a responsibility to God and myself (not to mention to my date) to be (gasp!) celibate……..And now as a married man, I have to question why “church people” seem to have more problems with sex than those in the world. Of course, we know the Bible tells us if we can’t control our desires, we should marry AND that it is our responsibility to meet the sexual needs of our mate (1 Corinth. 7)…. Many of us burn with desire when we are single and are thankful to have sex but then what? Have you ever read the Song of Solomon? Most believers have not read it or spent much time there. Do you feel uncomfortable that God would share intimacy or romance with a believer? Were you not aware that physical intimacy is a gift from above? Think about how special it must have been for Adam and Eve in the garden?

(Ahem) Back to the issue… So many of the church’s unmarried members are physically involved. Many are living together. Many are already parents. So, what gives?

Then, so many marry and lose interest in one another. Wives often say “nice girls just don’t do that” or “mommies don’t dress like that”. Husbands decide it’s too much work to please their wife or to go on a “date” with her.

What is wrong with us? Honestly, we have it backwards. We should anticipate before marriage and enjoy after! Until we get old! There is so much SIN in a marriage without passion and intimacy.

Your family is your first mission field. Take care of your spouse, then your children…..Did you get the order of that? Take care of your spouse and THEN your children……




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