The heartbreaking moment when you discover that the person who you chose is unchoosing you…..Wow! Nothing compares. “I don’t love your anymore” or “I love you but I don’t like you” to “we just don’t have anything in common. Yes, I’ve been there. Heard it all. Felt the air leave my deflated body. Felt unwanted. Abandoned. Begged for another chance. Felt relieved when we decided to think about it for a few days. Devastated when the postponement ended. Begged friends for answers or advice. Drank whiskey. Listened to bad country music, ie: He Stopped Loving Her Today…thought about suicide (and had a “conservative” c of c preacher admit that he might do the same if he had to “stay alone”. People told me time heals all…. it does– and — doesn’t. People said I would “find another”. Thankfully not another but someone else. Some days were truly awful. Some were dull. Some were numbness. Much disbelief.
What about church? 90% of active church members quit attending church after a divorce. Many denominations do not allow a divorced person to participate in communion services. Church members do treat you differently after a divorce. Some with pity, some with contempt. Most simply do not know what to do with you so they leave you alone. Counseling helps….but it is a slow tedious recovery. God is faithful but the feeling of failing him is so great. Guilt and disappointment in others drags you down.
You can live through it! My divorce gave me purpose. I understand the pain and disappointment. I understand being a single parent. And I understand the opportunity God gives us to start over.