Who are the Single Parents at your Church?


When I visit a new congregation for the first time, I always ask about who the singles are. Frequently, the minister or elders say, “we don’t really have singles here”. This statement perplexes me as I know research shows that 51% of the U. S. population is not married. When I push for answers, I sometimes hear the following, “well, Mrs. Jones is a widow and has 3 kids but they are in high school and don’t attend regularly.” “We have a divorced man and his kids come when he has visitation”. “We have 4 or 5 college kids but they are dating”. “Barbara has two kids but she isn’t living the single life”. So, the conclusion is that you have some singles that you don’t do much for and don’t go out of your way to get others into the flock. Sounds harsh, doesn’t it? Except that it is a true statement. So, who are those single parents?

  • The divorced lady with the unruly son
  • The never married young lady who made a “mistake”.
  • The YOUNG widow and widower who make everyone else uncomfortable.
  • The older widow who just wants to get out of the house.
  • The military spouse (yes, married but alone) who needs extra involvement.
  • The parent of the special needs child.

James wrote that pure religion is taking care of the widows and orphans….time to start!


Why less people are getting married……….(a report from the community)

Have you noticed how many of the millennial generation have little interest in marriage?

The authors of the University of Minnesota Marriage and Family study  predict 25 percent of millennials will never say “I do,” even though about half of them say they’d eventually like to get married.

Another third aren’t sure, and 13 percent say they never want to get hitched.

So, why are fewer people getting married?

When asked on the street, several people gave a variety of answers: fears of a costly divorce, expensive weddings and wanting success in a career before settling down.

“I think people are placing more of an importance on the commitment rather than the legality,” said Andy Gabberts of Minneapolis.

Experts believe part of the reason is economic. As the economy tanked in 2008, people found themselves in more precarious financial positions.

“If they really want to provide for a family, especially men, this marriage thing — it doesn’t look like they’re ready for it,” said Dr. Kirsten Lind Seal, who teaches marriage and family therapy at St. Mary’s University of Minnesota.

She also believes the structure of the family has changed such that there’s much less stigma when it comes to having children out of wedlock.

When the Pew researchers asked the single people who wanted to get married what was stopping them, the top reason? Men and women can’t find what they’re looking for in a mate.

Seventy-eight percent of women said a steady job was the most important thing in a spouse. In 1960, there were 139 employed single men for every 100 single women. That ratio is now 91:100 as more women have entered the workforce and more men have dropped out.

“The women are not going to make a bet on a guy who doesn’t have a job, and sort of get married and then have to go through a divorce,” Seal said.

About a quarter of respondents said they aren’t financially prepared, and just over 20 percent said they just weren’t ready.

Seal believes people don’t think they’re capable of living up to what they think marriage should be.

“They have this sort of ideal of what needs to happen, what things need to be in place for them in order to be married, and that I think that that stops a lot of people,” she said.

Seal says she doesn’t think marriage is over. Rather, she thinks we’re going through a transition period.

She expects marriage numbers to increase again as the economy gets back on track, and as same-sex marriage becomes legal in more states.




February 24-26, 2017       LAUNCH SINGLES WEEKEND! LAKE CITY , FLORIDA!!!

                                                                             “Planting Seeds-Preparing Soil”

Hosted by the New Horizons Church of Christ, Lake City, FL

Lessons about planting and harvesting, exploration of different techniques of farming, life application lessons, fellowship, singing…..Fun! Fun! including best cake contest…..more to come! $33 suggested conference cost….

**MAILING ADDRESS: New Horizon Church of Christ 184 SW Crescent St, Lake City, FL 32025**


                                     Building at:    6130 South US Highway 441, Lake City 32025….(386) 288-4274
Cole is getting a list of hotels/ there are many in the 50/60 dollar range. Also, State Park has Cabins $100 a night , sleep 6.