Divorce Recovery- Week 8- FINANCIAL SURVIVAL

Divorce Recovery- Week 8- FINANCIAL SURVIVAL

 

Financial Survival Tips

1. Don’t spend to soothe the pain- the debt will hang around longer than the ex…
2. Live within your means- are you humble yet?
3. Do things for yourself- like? Cook, clean, wash the car, make coffee….
4. Credit cards- Pay what you are responsible for then cut it DOWN…
5. Limit legal expenses- honestly, the lawyers are not there to help you…just to spend your money…
6. Budget- Get one. Follow it.
7. Ask for help

Enter/Reenter the work force

1. Time to get a job
2. Go to school- Upgrade (especially if you don’t have children)
3. Parenting vs. Providing (divorce should INCREASE parental responsibility!)
4. Child support- there is NO REASON not to pay support. If you are receiving, this money is to benefit the children (time to put them first!)

“and my GOD will meet your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus” Phillippians 4:19

Unfortunately, with more divorce in our society, many children have a parent who is working both nights and weekends. Healthcare is run and maintained on the backs of single parents (mostly mothers) who work nights and weekends. Non- custodial fathers should be available to help with their children when possible and church leaders are needed as mentors and father figures. The modern day widows and orphans are frequently in single parent homes.

 

Divorce Recovery, Week 7—-New Relationships

New Relationships

1. Existing Relationships have changed: in-laws are outlaws. Friends have chosen sides or run away. Couples treat you like a threat (why?).
2. You feel shame for failure (and others will help you feel miserable)
3. Healing takes time and time helps avoid mistakes

 

Can I Date?

1. Is the divorce final?
   1. NO: you are married. You cannot date.
   2. YES: You are FREE! Why “date”?
   3. YOU are FREE! Take time to enjoy your independence……THEN
      1. AM I FINISHED with the relationship with the EX? No chance of

Reconciliation…not sitting around wishing I were there….not planning

Mayhem or murder (lol).

1. NO: Consider counseling and reconciliation.
2. YES: No more ex
1. Is my relationship with Jesus complete?
   1. NO: date Jesus awhile. Time to serve at the soup kitchen, visit the sick

And lonely at the hospital. Pray. Fast. Meditate. Sing.

2. YES: Continue all of the above and do a PERSONAL INVENTORY

 

What do I have to offer?

1.  Are my finances in order?
2.  What about children? Are they secure and protected?
3.   Am I working and doing my best there?
4.   Is my “church life”  healthy?
5.   Do I want to date because I NEED something or because I have a lot to offer?

 

Can men and women “just be friends”

1. Watch “When Harry Met Sally”. Billy Crystal will tell you………..
2. NO. Sexual tension will always be there
3. You can become attached even if you don’t want to keep them

 

The GRAND FINALE!!!!

 

LEARN FROM DIVORCE

 

DON’T TAKE ON TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY TOO FAST

 

GO SLOW

 

DATE GOD. HE IS FORGIVING.

 

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all of this through Jesus Christ who gives me strength (Phillippians 4:12-13)

What does the BIBLE say? Divorce Recovery Notes Week 6

Divorce Recovery Notes Week 6

How do you make heads or tails of the confusion and conflicting opinions about how GOD views divorce?

What does the BIBLE say?

What is marriage?

God’s idea

1. covenant (contract) relationship
2. permanent relationship
3. a symbol

Unbiblical Grounds for divorce

incompatability- honestly, isn’t every couple incompatable? After all, John Gray said “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”  

1. we are different
2. “we don’t love each other anymore” – moods and feelings could vary day to day….
3. “it is better for the kids” STATISTICS say…”that is not true”
4. “Somebody told me that since I was married before that this isn’t a legitimate marriage and I can leave”   Two wrongs don’t make a right!

Biblical Grounds for Divorce

1. Immorality – specifically sexual intimacy with another with another
2. Abandonment by the non- Christian spouse – not difference of opinion

How do I know what to do?

1. Prayer…..Meditate….Fasting
2. Bible Study- you must study in context
3. The Holy Spirit….counselor
4. Get wise counsel- involve your church leaders and Christian counselors
5. SEEK reconciliation FIRST. Honestly, there is a lot of history with your spouse. Can you forgive them or accept forgiveness from them? Are you looking to “find better”?

“The decrees of the LORD are firm and all of them are righteous. They are more precious than gold….in keeping them there is much reward”. IF you worry that your situation is unmanageable, know that GOD can handle it. Put serving HIM first and all these other things will be taken care of…..

Game Plan: Stay married if possible! If your spouse has sinned (sexually or other sins that cannot be lived with) and will not change, you will probably get divorced. If you are the “cause” of the divorce by sin remember that GOD can forgive you. If you are content to serve GOD and live single (celebate, alone) that is good. If desire overwhelms you and sin is a problem, you may marry to remove this temptation. But be faithful. DON’T make the same mistakes again.