Archive for October, 2015

LOVE HURTS! Gloom despair and agony!

Posted in singles in church, Uncategorized on October 8, 2015 by xybatt

We have all seen the movie! Have heard the song! We know the phrase! Happily ever after!

What if my experiences are not happily ever after?

What if I am divorced? A lot of divorce these days. A lot of opinions too! Maybe we got married too soon! Funny, I know a couple that got married the day after they met and they did ok…………. Maybe we waited too long to get married! Oh yeah, I know a couple that married after dating for seven years and they are ok too! Maybe you married the wrong person! Oh, right. Well I married a girl from _(fill in the blank)_Christian College. She was an elder’s daughter. Couldn’t pick much better could I? I am still divorced. Maybe you were the problem since you married the right person. Hmmm! No doubt that I made many mistakes in the relationship. I am not willing to take all the blame and responsibility. I feel for the children. They feel abandoned…hurt…angry because we, the grownups, couldn’t get along. Too much pain!

What if my spouse died? Honestly, nobody is prepared for a young widow or widower. Wife dies at 35. Husband grieves but is also lonely. Few peers. Treated different.

What if my CHURCH family is dysfunctional. Honestly, most “churches” are for families 25-45 with children OR full of old people. Churches don’t cater to the unmarried, especially the divorced, young widows or single parents.

*Statistics show that 90% of the divorced quit church attendance and most never return. Their children go with them.

*Statistics show that Churches of Christ are attended by approximately 85% married  people even though 51% of the population is single. Florida is one of the highest concentrations of single believers and one of the lowest attendance states. Florida has ZERO singles ministers in churches of Christ. It seems that we are willing to let our younger unmarried attend a denomination elsewhere or not attend. We will take them after they marry? Poor strategy!

Many issues to address, problems to solve, pain to soothe, compassion to share……………..most of our ministers are willing to tell us how we are going to hell but unwilling to make a difference. We want to love Jesus but need to see it from our church family, from our leaders……………

Love Hurts! But we shouldn’t be all alone with that hurt!

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Thoughts on Dating ….Relationships…Whatever…..

Posted in Uncategorized on October 1, 2015 by xybatt

Whether you are 15 or 50, looking for love or a friend or just threading water today, the following can be helpful and hopefully encouraging or amusing:

  • Have a life! Have something to do that you are passionate about! Something that keeps you busy, challenges you and will be enough at times when you don’t have someone to share with. shark
  • Spend time with the right person. There are many wonder women and super men out there but they may not share time and space well with you. Find the ones who care about you!

Lindsey

  • Pay attention to the details. Red flags, signs from above (or at least friends and family). I have observed many a wonderful person walk past or away from a person with great poetential and chase after a train wreck of a relationship.

sign

  • Share your time and interests. Not everything but something. Spending time together is easier if you can do something together that you both enjoy

share

  • Know when to “give space” and also when to fill “space” if your friend isn’t available. Many of the most interesting people are also people who may not be available at all times. That’s ok. Enjoy them when they are home.

space

Have a blessed day!