“It’s not worth it. I can’t go on!”
“It’s all my fault and I can’t help it”
“He/She is better off without me!”
“My ex thinks I am worthless”
“I lost the only person who I can really love”
In many years of singles ministry and counseling, I have heard all of these statements. Men and women are living in an environment that screams to them that they don’t amount to much. A divorce tells you that you failed. A death of a loved one destroys your heart. Not finding your “soul mate” makes you wonder if you are worth having.
A self image of worth is a vital prelude to life. Some persons live the single life by choice but most live alone because of circumstance. Our feelings of self worth are formed early in life. Mom and Dad can build us up or tear us down. Our friends, classmates and associates either build us up or tear us down. Later life experiences are measures against what we learn when we are young. If we live in an environment of praise and have some measure of success, then our self esteem is enhanced. If we live with constant criticism, disappointment and failure, our ego is defeated.
” it is better to dwell on the corner of a housetop then to live with a contentious women…..” (same for men) Proverbs 21:9, 19
Our philosophy of life and religion effects our self worth. Some ideals of life and theology lend an atmosphere of growth, flexibility and esteem, while others tie down and frustrate by imposing rigid rules of behavior which impossible to live by. Jesus criticized the Pharisees for doing this. They had a rule for everything, even the amount of herbs to tithe but did not honor important matters: justice, mercy and faithfulness. It is unfortunate that the church often drags down the spirit of the seeker rather than boosting their morale.
In John 17:23, we are told by Jesus “you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me”. Romans 5:7 tells us that even though we are sinners, Jesus died for us. Do we have value? Yes, we do. Jesus said so….