Forgiveness is a much misunderstood concept as well as one that is not practiced regularly. Forgiveness is not… ignoring the peerson or the grievances by not thinking about them. Forgiveness is not forgetting, which isn’t reasonable. Forgiveness is not letting that person off the hook for their wrongs committed against you and you can’t expect wrongs to be made right before you forgive a person. Forgiveness is the decision to accept the reality of the situation and absorb the pain of the wrong acts committed. Then a person can let go of the past in order to live freely in the present and the future.
You may have strong objections to forgiving someone of the crimes committed against you. You will feel that justice was not done and the perpetrator should be punished. You might be right but you are not responsible for metting out punishment. What about “don’t get mad, get even”? Revenge! Problem with revenge is that it lowers you to the standard of the offender. It confirms opinions of others who may feel that you deserved your fate. And it usually is the start of reprisals and retaliations.
What if you hate them? Hatred will turn a likable person into a sour cynic. It will lead to power struggles with people who should not be enemies. It can lead to physical ailments such as hypertension, ulcers, indigestion, heart disease and emotional instability. You could transfer your feelings to new relationships and alienate potential friends and relationships.
How to forgive. Write down all your grievances. Write a letter asking the person to acknowledge wrong doing. See what the response is. You will either lead them to a change of heart or they will blow you off. Regardless of the response, pray for their health, success and relationship with God. Then move on with your future and your faith walk.
Remember that Jesus Christ died on that cross for the forgiveness of your sins. Let them go!