Single and in the Church………..

     Rachel and I have been married for 15 years now. Jessica is 14 and Jameson is twelve. I am away with work often but have someone I can trust to raise the kids and manage the house. A blessing. I still remeber when I was a single dad with a young daughter.

  • My daughter was with her custodial parent (mother) and went to church with me as a visitor.  Things were different. Because her school dismissed for the summer in late June she missed most youth activities. Many events took hiatus when (southern) schools broke. The big summer event was camp and since we only had a few weeks and she didn’t know the kids………….
  • Single dads were (somewhat) suspicious creatures in Mobile, Alabama. Most churches didn’t want to deal with the “stigma” of divorce.
  • I remember a couple of church ladies (my age) who acted very “perculiar” around me. I learned later that I was like a rash or something. I made them uncomfortable because of my failed relationship. Funny, I didn’t want to be part of their life other than Christian family.
  • as a divorced man, I was a liberal…
  • I couldn’t hang out too much with the college age (too old) and couples were kind but…couples. I started a ministry and recruited peers.
  • Our minister then received unwarranted inquiry as to why we doing “whatever it is you do”.
  • Flyers for events were mailed and passed out. Most went to the little round file…..
  • I learned that there are 3 kinds of singles. 1) Singles 2) Singles again 3) Singles for a reason
  • Only about 15% of church memebers are unmarried. Alot of widows/widowers, divorcees and younger singles. A few never married.
  • Most churches do NOT budget for singles.
  • If you visit a church as a single, you have a greater chance of being overlooked. Even if unmarried if you bring a friend of the opposite gender, you will be accepted more readily.

So, I know you are there. Keep speaking up! Go to retreats and outings. Find one another and sit together. Support one another.

Great events coming at the Pigeon Forge Retreat and the St. Augustine weekend. See upcoming events!

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