Sampler of Singles not Served Well by Churches

Mark is widowed. Too young for the Senior Saints but alone none the less. He doesn’t have peers in his congregation. People feel sorry for him but “he needs to get on with life”. Incidentally, he married his high school sweetheart and held her hand through 8 years of cancer treatment. Why don’t we have a budget in place or a plan for people like him?

Mark is widowed. Too young for the Senior Saints but alone none the less. He doesn't have peers in his congregation. People feel sorry for him but "he needs to get on with life". Incidentally, he married his high school sweetheart and held her hand through 8 years of cancer treatment. Why don't we have a budget in place or a plan for people like him?

Tommy is mentally “challenged” and doesn’t always act correctly in church. Most churches don’t budget or plan for people like Tommy so many handicapped people don’t attend church…also, Tommy will probably never marry so he is left out of most couple activities.

tommy2

Susan never married. Never found the right guy (or the wrong one). Saved herself for marriage and now is alone in her 50s. She states that she has learned to sit alone both in restaurants and at church but would prefer “company”. Why doesn’t the church budget or plan for Susan and others like her? Do the ministers and elders think she likes all this solitude?

Jane never married. Never found the right guy (or the wrong one). Saved herself for marriage and now is alone in her 50s. She states that she has learned to sit alone both in restaurants and at church but would prefer "company". Why doesn't the church budget or plan for Jane<br /><br /><br />
Photo: Jane never married. Never found the right guy (or the wrong one). Saved herself for marriage and now is alone in her 50s. She states that she has learned to sit alone both in restaurants and at church but would prefer "company". Why doesn't the church budget or plan for Jane?
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Divorced with the Kids

Joyce’s husband went out for a loaf of bread (and a rock of crack cocaine) and never came back. After 9 years of solitude she filed divorce and moved on. A preacher’s daughter, her local church shunned her and told her she could never marry again. Even when his dead body was pulled out of a shallow grave the next year she was not accepted for fellowship. Obviously, a person like this is not in church plans or budgets…and her children? The bottom line is that her children need Christian mentors and peers. If someone is not present in their lives they will be in the world with those not putting Jesus first.
Joyce's husband went out for a loaf of bread (and a rock or crack cocaine and never came back. After 9 years of solitude she filed divorce and moved on. A preacher's daughter, her local church disfellowshipped her and told her she could never marry again. Even when his dead body was pulled out of a shallow grave the next year she was not qualified for fellowship. Obviously, a person like this in not in church plans or budgets...and her children?

***STILL MISSING IN YOUR CONGREGATION***Young Christian non student, vocational

****STILL MISSING FROM YOUR CONGREGATION****
Hannah dropped out of school at age 16. Wasn’t pregnant or rebellious. Just had a plan. She wanted to be a hairdresser. So she went to vo-tech and became one. Beautiful girl too. Unfortunately, the local church College and Young Professional class snubbed her because she was “neither” college or professional. Good news though! Next year, after she gets married, she will have a place in the young marrieds group.

****STILL MISSING FROM YOUR CONGREGATION****<br /><br />
Hannah dropped out of school at age 16. Wasn't pregnant or rebellious. Just had a plan. She wanted to be a hairdresser. So she went to vo-tech and became one. Beuatiful girl too. Unfortunately, the local church College and Young Professional class snubbed her because she was "neither" college or professional. Good news though! Next year, after she gets married, she will have a place in the young marrieds group.<br /><br />
Hannah dropped out of school at age 16. Wasn't pregnant or rebellious. Just had a plan. She wanted to be a hairdresser. So she went to vo-tech and became one. Beuatiful girl too. Unfortunately, the local church College and Young Professional class snubbed her because she was "neither" college or professional. Good news though! Next year, after she gets married, she will have a place in the young marrieds group.

*****STILL MISSING FROM YOUR CONGREGATION*****
Curtis is (African American) young and socially inept. He lives with his elderly mother and they are the only people of race in his small congregation. He is a musically prodigy (plays 9 instruments) and has a job. Yet, people like him are not in budget or plans of many churches because he (nor his mother are married)

*****STILL MISSING FROM YOUR CONGREGATION*****<br /><br />
Curtis is (African American) young and socially inept. He lives with his elderly mother and they are the only people of race in his small congregation. He is a musically prodigy (plays 9 instruments) and has a job. Yet, people like him are not in budget or plans of many churches because he (nor his mother are married)

“Living Together Case Studies”

Don and Marie “live together”. They are both retired and on a fixed income with social security and medicare monthly. If they marry they will be penalized financially by our government and will have about half as much to live on. They are both from a religious background and know it “isn’t right”. How can we move them to marriage? Would a church wedding without a marriage license be ok?
Don and Marie "live together". They are both retired and on a fixed income with social security and medicare monthly. If they marry they will be penalized financially by our government and will have about half as much to live on. They are both from a religious background and know it "isn't right". How can we move them to marriage?John and Sally have been together for years and have children. John is a professional and was raised in “church”. Sally was not. John would like to be married but Sally has not agreed to. Thus John feels much guilt and insecurity. How should we, the church, minister to this family and “move 2 marriage”?
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DIVORCE RECOVERY #8 AND WRAP-UP…ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT CELIBACY?

I am a product of the seventies. “Broadway”Joe Namath, the bachelor quarterback, thanked the girls of NY for never being alone. We watched Charlie’s Angels (Farrah), Rockford (for the action) . Mini skirts, spin the bottle, Love Boat, Betty and Veronica, Ginger and Mary Ann (the girls had Bobby Sherman and DaI vid Cassidy) and James Bond. Later, disco and dirty dancing. It was the sexual revolution. Women’s lib said, “men are only good for sex, women can work and pay their own bills”. Men cheered!!!

Then I started going to church. Yes, in the 70’s, “I found It” I graduated high school in ’78. I learned that a Christian had a list to keep. Don’t drink, Don’t smoke (the worst sin because you were destroying the temple) and don’t have sex. “So, how far could you go before you are sinning?” I liked church and had good friends, read my bible, told others they were going to hell because they didn’t believe what I did…..

My Dad threw me out of the house at 16. Didn’t need me to tell him where he was going, I guess….I finished school, joined the Army, and straddled the fence. See, I had failed to keep a perfect list. Quit church and got involved…over and over and over….then at 32: divorced and hurting (with a hurricane to rebound from also) I went back to church and discovered repentance and forgiveness. Not a list!

I was alone (emphasis on alone) for 5 years. It was the best years of my life. I traveled. Went back to school. Came and went as I pleased. But, I did miss the intimacy of sex…..And yes, I was a bit angry about the urges and temptations that I was having to learn to live with. What about you??? Yes, many of you are more independent (my brother just went to Finland with friends-couldn’t have done that married). But what about celibacy?

ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT CELIBACY? You were married and now you are alone. You shared an bed and now you have more space and an extra pillow…..I think it is ok to be frustrated. GOD himself did say that it is not good for man to be alone. And, the Apostle Paul wrote that is is better to marry than to burn (with desire).

But while you wait…. 1. Strengthen your relationship with JESUS! 2. Spend extra time with your children, family and friends 3. Take a trip somewhere you always wanted to go (and the ex didn’t) 4. Go back to school or better your career options 5. Serve somebody  IT IS OK to be angry but not ok to let it immobilize you. Relax and enjoy other things….

SPIRITUAL GROWTH WORKSHOP **SINGLES** CLASS SCHEDULE JUNE 26-28

Invisible Majority (Singles- Who are they?)- Lance Morgan and Jim Miller (daytime class Friday or Saturday * focus on church leaders*      SINGLES BRING A MINISTER, ELDER OR DEACON WITH YOU

Singles Late Night:
Thursday – Dr. Anthony Fischetto- Knowing God Intimately through being Single (Being Transformed Into the Image of Christ– 2 Cor. 3:18)(Practical, Biblical, and Powerful Ways Singles Can Draw Close to God)
 
Friday- Divorce Survival and GriefTalk- Jim Miller
 
Saturday- The Dating Game (Really)- Jim Miller
****See UPCOMING EVENTS FOR A PLANNED DINNER SCHEDULE****