Divorce Recovery 101

I   th have noticed a lot of interest in Divorce Recovery and Divorce in general and will BLOG on said topic for the next several weeks. I welcome your imput. I will also attend and audit a DivorceCare support group and share the basic ideas. Also, check out past related topics….I will forward 3 of the more popular to start off….

1.  – WHY EVERY CHURCH NEEDS A SINGLES MINISTRY:   Have you noticed that most churches cater to the “traditional” family. You know, Mom, Dad and the 2.2 kids. And, these persons should be ministered to! But, what about the 50.5% of the population who is not married? That’s right, over half the population is unmarried. And, most don’t go to church. It would seem that churches that want to succeed in evangelism would seek out the lost…….

     Of course, there are rational reasons to avoid the unmarrieds

  • Many unmarrieds are “needy”. Especially, single mothers and widows. Too much trouble. Funny, the Bible (James 1:27) calls this pure religion.
  • Financial strain. (James, again, 2:1-7) condemns this thought process. And while some unmarried individuals are short of cash…..remember, Bill Gates was a BILLIONAIRE long before he married.
  • Kids of single parents are difficult and undisciplined. Yes, this group needs more mentoring. Couldn’t you be part of the solution? After all, the church is to save the lost.
  • What about “shacking up”. Yes, alot of people are co-habitating without marriage, even raising children. And, yes, it’s not in God’s plan. But, providing support, encouragement and understanding is in HIS will. Only with patience and a good example will Christians make a difference to the unchurched.


I am a product of the seventies. “Broadway”Joe Namath, the bachelor quarterback, thanked the gi     I rls of NY for never being alone. We watched Charlie’s Angels (Farrah), Rockford (for the action) . Mini skirts, spin the bottle, Love Boat, Betty and Veronica, Ginger and Mary Ann (the girls had Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy) and James Bond. Later, disco and dirty dancing. It was the sexual revolution. Women’s lib said, “men are only good for sex, women can work and pay their own bills”. Men cheered!!!

Then I started going to church. Yes, in the 70’s, “I found It” I graduated high school in ’78. I learned that a Christian had a list to keep. Don’t drink, Don’t smoke (the worst sin because you were destroying the temple) and don’t have sex. “So, how far could you go before you are sinning?” I liked church and had good friends, read my bible, told others they were going to hell because they didn’t believe what I did…..

My Dad threw me out of the house at 16. Didn’t need me to tell him where he was going, I guess….I finished school, joined the Army, and straddled the fence. See, I had failed to keep a perfect list. Quit church and got involved…over and over and over….then at 32: divorced and hurting (with a hurricane to rebound from also) I went back to church and discovered repentance and forgiveness. Not a list!

I was alone (emphasis on alone) for 5 years. It was the best years of my life. I traveled. Went back to school. Came and went as I pleased. But, I did miss the intimacy of sex…..And yes, I was a bit angry about the urges and temptations that I was having to learn to live with. What about you??? Yes, many of you are more independent (my brother just went to Finland with friends-couldn’t have done that married). But what about celibacy?

3. THE DAY LOVE WALKED OUT THE DOOR: I have heard the punchlines! “My wife left me for another woman so I held the door for both of them”  “My husband was a fighter, not a lover”  ” He said he was going hunting. Seems he found women out in those woods”  ” She said she liked the Eagles….”

A lot of tragedy and pain in a divorce. Loss of time, money, relationships, security, homes….Hopefully, one day the punchline will be funny!


My Resolution: I Will Be an Encourager (even though it is against my nature)…..31 days of Positively Positivity!


#1- I will accept change. Happens. I will cope with it and not whine….
#2- I will accept defeat gracefully. Good lesson to teach my 11 year old who is upset with his Alabama Crimson Tide…..
#3- I will find good in people and POINT IT OUT!
#4- I will be a blessing. I will be someone that others are happy to see coming! Not arrogant, coarse, mopey or jerky.
#5- I will appreciate loved ones and tell them..
#6- I will be encouraged by my church family. They do alot right and that will be the focus.
#7- Monday is awesome! A gift from GOD.

#8- Terrific Tuesday…even if it is cold, it is a wonderful day.

#9- I could eat better and not let my waistline and appetite dictate my health


#10- Might be a good day to go to the gym. You could lift weights, take a spinning class, sit in the hot tub……

#11- Help me with my encouragement project. Just need stamps, envelopes, pen and paper……………

#12- I will praise God for work on Saturday because people need help on weekends and holidays too!

#13- I will catch someone doing something good today

#14- Fellowship isn’t talking about the weather

#15- I will question my choices of how I use my money, what entertains me and whether I am being transparently honest.

#16- THE ENCOURAGEMENT PROJECT is off to a good start. I need encouragers and people to encourage. e-mail me at xybatt@gmail.com

#17- RETURN your carts to the right place at Walmart, Kmart and other places. More important when the weather is bad. Many cart gatherers are mentally handicapped and get paid minimum wage. Make their lives easier AND safer.

#18- Look around for others who are grieving! A card or pat on the shoulders does wonders.

#19- Praise a child.

#20- Form a committee at your church and plan how you can better serve the sick, grieving, etc. HINT: Your preacher isn’t the one who is commanded to go to the world …YOU are!

#21- Help teach a class at church or be a guest speaker at your children’s school, the local Kiwanis, VFW or American Legion.

#22- An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward.  When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great.  So just focus, and keep aiming.

Sean White and Chelsea Bramblett take a break!

#23- SNOW covers a multitude of ugliness….til it melts….like baptism….but that does not melt

# 24- I caught the nicest lady who was making a difference today.

#25- Everybody likes a flower….maybe i will give one away today….

#26- Opportunity continues to knock, often in the places I would not prefer.

#27- Read a book that makes you chuckle…I’m reading “Happy! Happy! Happy!” by Phil Robertson

#28- Don’t take every thing seriously

#29- Don’t argue with fence posts

#30-  Hold others accountable for their behavior and if they can’t do what they need…it is not your fault

#31- Have a great February!!!


More to come. Add yours in the