Dealing with Grief and Loss

Luke 7:11-15 …(the widow of Nain)  “Jesus saw her grief and his heart broke”

     Grief- the pain caused by profound loss. We all have had grief. Some more than others. The obvious grief is the death of a spouse. But losing a spouse through divorce can be just as painful and possibly more complicated.

     We need to support our grieving widows. We do pretty well for a couple of weeks. We send food and cards. We make phone calls. We stand around in awkward silence. Then after a few weeks we expect the widowed to get on with their life not understanding that the life they had is gone forever. Everything has changed. They will mourn their loved one for the rest of their life. And that’s ok…And we should be supportive. Be a friend. Invite them out to lunch or to a show or party. Be a listener. Stand around in awkward silence.

     We don’t always support our divorced members. Too often we beat them down with “scriptural” judgements about why the divorce happened. I can tell you from experience that yes, sin is always involved. But not at the signing of the divorce decree. Frequently, the sin starts long before the marriage. We date people who are not believers and we act like they do. Too many parties, too much premarital sex, attraction to the flesh, etc. Who told Christians to “date” like that. God didn’t. Then after the marriage arguments, insults, physical abuse and affairs can happen. People get so distraught that they can’t think straight and need relief. Could they have made it? Yes. But they didn’t. They need us to love and support.

     Does your congregation have a Divorce Recovery or Grief Support group. Offer your support. Do you need one? Get involved. It will be worth it!



2 responses to “Dealing with Grief and Loss

  1. Although we have the words of James to remember the widows and orphans, we do neglect widows. Widowers are also forgotten. I was fifty when my wife died just over four years ago, and I have long ago lost count of the number of times that I have left the Sunday morning assembly without an invitation to join someone for lunch. Singles are not likely to ask a married couple if they will have lunch, for fear of infringing on their time together as husband and wife. There have been entire months when I have eaten every meal alone, and the loneliness does not help to heal the grief. For me, not having any close family within 500 miles makes it even more difficult. There are no parents left, and I never had siblings, so the only close family for me is my daughter and grandson, and they are too far away.

    The church where I am a member does offer GriefShare, and that is a good program to overcome the initial loss, but it does not help with the long term feeling of being alone.

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