Bowling Alone- comments from a book by Robert Putnam

Psalms 4:3 “if you call out, I will hear you”

People are lonely! Widows and widowers are lonely. Divorcees are lonely. Singles are lonely. Teens are lonely. In the era of FACEBOOK wher we know what our friends had for breakfast….people are lonely. In the area of text and twitter….people are lonely.

Survey says that:

  • playing cards is down 25%
  • time with neighbors is down 33%
  • family dinners is down 33%
  • having friends over is down 45%
  • readiness to make friends is down 33%
  • a person averages 2 close friends, down from 3 (somebody was voted off the island?)

Here’s my deductions after seeing these statistics:

We perpetuate our loneliness! Rather text than talk? Don’t know your neighbors’ names? Too busy to go to church potluck? Too busy to make a play date with your kids friends (and their parent)? Do you text your mate while watching TV in different rooms? Loneliness is not creeping in, it has arrived!

There are solutions!

  • join a bowling league. We joined one with my work a few years ago and met incredible people. Laughed alot!
  • Volunteer! Get involved in a project that includes lots of people. Beach cleanup. Homeless ministry. Nursing home visitation.
  • Join your local sports club. The GatorNation or NolesNation needs you. Auburn, Alabama, Tennessee……you name the team, they have a booster club.
  • Make your best recipe and share it at the pot luck. People will ask about it!
  • LAUNCH events are planned for the Christian single as affordable opportunities for fellowship. Spend some time with the family of GOD.

Jesus surrounded himself with others. He enjoyed people. He expressed joy when sharing. And he set aside prayer time to spend with the father. Was he ever lonely? Read Matt. 26:36-46. He certainly was grieved to know he would be apart from the father. But, he did GOD’s will.

Check out upcoming events and RSVP for dinner November 18!


The Couragious Life #2, the shopping cart….

DEUTERONOMY 6:13 pp “….do what is right, do what is good in the GOD’s sight so you will live a good life….” message

On a hot, sticky Saturday this July we (the Millers) were at Walmart. Due to the EXTREME heat and short fuses, the mature Millers (the parents) were grumpy and the offspring were restless. The crowded store had not soothed the savage beasts….or us! And we had not succeeded in finding that one blissful item that would make our day! Bummer! So we rolled the cart out of the store, unloaded the necessities from the cart and got in the van.

The kids noticed that the cart was just standing there…in the parking lot. But, nobody moved to push it to the cart corral 3 spaces away. And it was hot! And we were all in a mood. And it is just a shopping cart……

What kind of person cares about a shopping cart? After all, I am a healthcare professional! Educated to better the lives of others. And, I am a busy man. A working man. A husband (grumpy yet). A father. And a Christian. I have a full life. REPEAT! A full life! I am too busy to push a cart!

But then…….(don’t you love the suspense)…………my conscience asked questions (or I hear voices…). What would Jesus do? Would he leave that cart? And, what kind of example are you setting for your kids? And to your wife as your strive to improve your service in the kingdom?


Logic stepped in. If you (DAD) put things away, maybe the kids will too! If you (husband) do something good, maybe the grump of the day can ease. If you (CHRISTIAN SHOPPER) put that cart in the corral, the cart retriever will have a little less burden and will sweat less as he works. And (you never know) maybe others will be inspired to return their carts to the corral. You might start a MOVEMENT in the Walmart parking lot of many grumpy husbands/fathers/Christian shoppers who do the right thing! And as the movement grows, you have empowered millions of shopping cart collectors to be kind and do the right thing…………….

I put the cart in the corral!!!! The kids and the missus noticed and acknowledged that it was a good thing.

“do what is right………….” After all, GOD sees you put up the cart.


PRAY! For the Les Ferguson for peace in the loss and wife and child. For the Ellis and Johnsons of Ft. Deposit after the death of Clara, my favorite Aunt Rose’s baby daughter. Recovery for Jeanette Chandler (new kidney) and Patty Self (missus the same kidney). Pray hard for those in pain. BUT, also pray with praise and thanksgiving!!!


The Couragious Life! #1

100 senior citizens, all aged 85-95 years old were surveyed. The question was “at this point of your life, what would you have done differently if given a chance?”. Interestingly, none wished they had worked harder or done more overtime. None wished they had moved to Florida to play golf.

Thye survey says……..

1) most said that they wish they had loved more! Relationships! Most wished they had been more passionate about their faith, more passionate with their mates and more passionate about their time with their children and grandchildren. Many recounted missed opportunities; the missed recital of grandaughter Susie, not playing catch with little George or not going on a movie date with thie spouse. I can relate! I missed most of my oldest daughter’s great accomplishments. I saw a few T-ball games but missed the fast pitch no-hitter she threw in 10th grade. I attended high school and college graduation but learned of her engagement this week on facebook. And, why you ask. Work and bad decisions.

2) most said they wish they risked more! Many stories were told of opportunities not taken because of fear and doubt. A relationship that didn’t happen because he didn’t ask. A trip not taken because of uncertainty. Many men wished they had learned to dance with their wives. Many women talked about the getaway to a exotic place that they didn’t take. Now, mind you, not many of our seniors were saddened to have never sky dived or hunted grizzley bears but all had stories of things they should have experienced. One lady “never tried” chocolate covered bacon…..another didn’t go to new York to shop. A man wanted to go to Florida and attend all the spring training games. My dad and mom planned to travel the country in a “camper” and visit all the national parks. Never happened!

3) Most are disappointed in their legacy. “My life didn’t add up to much”.  Interestingly, the job position didn’t help ease the disappointment. Many a VP of (insert here a title) is disappointed in life. “All that money and time and I don’t know anyone”. Hours spent in the position of power and prestige and even the lady with the cleaing service doesn’t care who you are. One widower who managed a Waffle House after retiring from a white collar career stated that it was the “best thing” I ever did! I worked and laughed and shared my time with all these young people and I know they really loved me. I am willing to bet that he touched the lives of many! Almost everyone wonders what thir obituary will say if written by others. Will it say “hard worker”,”good provider”, “church member”, “resident” or will it say “loving”, involved” and known for goodness”. Your legacy can start at anytime. Why not today?

In the movie, “COURAGEOUS”,  Adam chose to delay dancing with his nine year old daughter and didn’t run with his 15 year old son. His daughter died tragically. He learned to run with his son.

What can you change today? Do you want to LOVE MORE? TAKE a RISK? What is your LEGACY?