Looking for the Perfect Christian Mate?

Looking for the perfect Christian mate?

by Kim Whitaker on Tuesday, September 20, 2011 at 8:05am

In short, give it up.We all have ideals of what our perfect spouse would look like, talk like, and act like.  We women are especially in tune with our Ken doll or Mystery Date that we’ve dreamed about since around the age of 10 – or was it 7?  Likewise, most guys have a visual picture in their mind of what their beautiful wife will look like:  her hair, her smile, her height and body type.  The problem with this dream date is that there are no perfect people.  Surprised?  Of course not.  Afraid?  That might be more like it.

I think that one of the many reasons that dating as a Christian is more challenging (besides the obvious: finding other Christian singles, lack of guidance from the Church, no sex outside of marriage, being careful not to be unequally yoked, different religious backgrounds/beliefs/practices, etc.) is that we also know that God hates divorce.  Therefore, we MUST find the perfect mate so that the risk of divorce is nil.

The problem with searching for the perfect mate is that it is focused on you – how Mr. or Ms. Right is going to complete you.

Scott Croft gives a great description on biblical attraction in his article titled:  “Brother, You’re Like a Six” published on Boundless Webzine.  Scott wrote:

In Scripture, love is described not as a mere emotion based on personal desire (i.e., “attraction”), but as an act of the will that leads to selfless actions toward others. According to Jesus himself, the second-greatest commandment (after loving God) is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). He also said “greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Jesus’ love for us did not result from our inherent loveliness or our wonderful treatment of Him. He didn’t go to the cross as a spontaneous response triggered by mere emotion. His perfect love of us was a choice, an act undertaken despite our lack of attractiveness — and it led to both sacrifice and joy.

Scott tells of a couple he was counseling.  The male, in his quest for a “10,” was having a problem making a commitment to his godly girlfriend.

He also said that, while he found her basically attractive, there was one feature of hers that he “just pictured differently” on the woman he would marry. I would ask about her godliness and character and faith, and he said all those things were stellar (and he was right). Finally, he said, “I guess I’m looking for a ’10’.”

I could hold back no longer. Without really thinking, I responded, You’re looking for a ’10’? But, brother, look at yourself. You’re like a ‘six.’ If you ever find the woman you’re looking for, and she has your attitude, what makes you think she would have you?”

Oh how often we at Cache’ Connections want to say this!  There are no 10’s.  Well, even if you find one, his or her ego would be intolerable or your feelings of jealousy or inferiority would eat the relationship from the inside out.

At Cache’ Connections, we suggest taking a better look at biblical attraction. CLICK HERE to read the article in its entirety and to find the balance between biblical attraction and worldly attraction.

~ Linda
Cache’ Connections

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Romeo, Romeo (after you find him…how do you get his attention?)

So, ladies….you think you might have found your Romeo! The man is kind, eloquent, sophisticated and handsome (all at Billy Bob’s Bar-B-Que!). Now how do you get his attention? John Gray (of Mars and Venus fame) suggests:

  • attend a party and have a friend introduce you.
  • Go to a place where you have lots of expertise and people ask for your advice. Hope he comes in.
  • If he serves in a local charity, volunteer and work.
  • Become friends with his friends and get the scoop.
  • Hang out with him in a place where mostly men attend (golf course, sports event). Even if doesn’t work out you’ll meet alot of jocks.
  • Make eye contact with him. Smile. Let him know you are interested.
  • hang out where the food is. He’ll be by after awhile. maybe you can serve him some chicken wings….
  • What political party is he? Great, now you are one too!

The bottom line is, you will not meet the love of your life sitting in your house unless he is the UPS man or the exterminator ( I know alot of single bug men….guys what’s the deal?)

  • Better places to meet include the singles dinner, sightseeing trip or conference.
  • Volunteer to serve dinner or make name tags.
  • Hand out the bulletin.
  • Stay out of that “ladies” class. It is a dead end into the spinster world!

And what is the Christian Romeo looking for? Pretty, kind, eloquent, attractive and sensitive…Yes, and more. A woman like Proverbs 31 is a PRIZE!


“Romeo, Romeo part two”

Are you still looking for Romeo? Can you describe him? Is Romeo (tall, medium, short)  and handsome with (Nordic, Mediterranean, African)  features of (blonde, brunette, red, black) hair and piercing blue, brown, green) eyes and a (bold, gentle, shy) smile? You know he works as a (lawyer, doctor, fireman) and lives in the (city, country, suburbs). After hours, he’s easy to find at the (bar, gym, community center) where he listens to others as they express their anxieties, because he is a (sensitive, caring, easily amused) man. He dresses in (jeans and a T-shirt, a suit, a turtleneck) and he looks (hot, good, safe).  Romeo cares about himself and (is fit a fiddle, fit as a bass fiddle, reminds you of a cuddly bear) is also the master of (communication, one liners, strong and silent). He loves your passion for (ballet, opera, stock car racin’) and says that you are just the perfect (weight, shape, hair color). Your dress does not make you look fat! In fact it shows that Scottish plaid and pink knee socks are just the rage. He loves your (mother, cat, mothercat, kittens and your mother) and likes to take you to (dinner, shopping, needlepoint practice). Romeo likes all your friends and feels that they are all long lost sisters and should visit more often. Romeo’s mother taught him to (put his socks in the laundry, cook and clean up, understand your hormones). He likes to (cuddle, watch love stories, pet the poodle) and wouldn’t dream of (watching football, having a hunting dog, fishing). He knows that you are always (right, the priority, a joy) and he appreciates your (hair, mumu, flip flops) just the way they are. Oh, and Romeo has ($ + intelligence + a villa in Nice) available for your use at any time. He never hangs out with friends and never (blows his nose like a honking geese, clears his throat, spits). Romeo is almost perfect for you!

I knew a girl years ago in (name the town) who found her Romeo (three times). Tall, muscular outdoor men who worked with their hands and turned over their paycheck. Good men who loved their children and tried to love their wife. All three learned to go to church with her. All were baptized at her church at her request. All eventually left her when she grew bored with them.

“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?”

I don’t know any men who fit the top description, regardless of how you filled in the blanks. I don’t know many men named Romeo. But, I have known some GOOD MEN named Andy and Bob and Cary and Dennis and Ed. Frank and Greg and Hank and Joe and Larry and Mike and Nick and Paul and Steve and Tom and Vince and Wayne. Alot of good men are out there.

Remember the pattern that you want your man to be cut from (men….this is what a woman needs). Your man is a child of God and should act like one! Your man comes from a human family and you might question the pedigree (people questioned Jesus “isn’t HE a carpenter’s son?). He will make good and bad decisions as he is tempted. He needs to be tough at times (Jesus was-Mark 11:12-19) and tender at others (John 11 “Jesus wept”). He needs to triumph over life in the same way that Jesus did! (Luke 23:44-49).

Look at the patterns of men in the spotlight. Tiger and Arnold: Great physical specimens! the Donald and Larry King: wealthy and smart! Be like Mike? Bo? Redford? Sheen?

Ladies, Romeo has only one suitable pattern……Romans 6:23. Find a man like Jesus and you’ll find joy (men, be like Jesus…….)

Men: get ready for “COURAGEOUS- the Movie!”

Check out the upcoming events!!!!!