Responsibilities of the Church to the Singles Parent

Many never married “women” choose to be sexually active and risk pregnancy. Others deliberately become pregnant to either have a child or “hold on” to a relationship. Many “men” are only happy to oblige. Thus our culture accepts the following mores as truth:

–It’s ok to be sexually active to please yourself or to have a child

–Single adults must be sexually active.

–Single men cannot be held responsible for their actions and are reduced to a bilogical sperm donor who is unnecessary in a child’s life.

As a Christian, I REJECT this lack of reasoning! Christians must take a stand for what is right. We must communicate that pre-marital sex is wrong. The singles ministers (ok, so you don’t have one…) and yourn ministers must teach abstinence! If sexual intercoarse has started, it has to stop to walk the Christian walk. We must create a safe environment where accountability can be established. We can teach right and wrong and emphasize God’s standard for purity. Although we can be forgiven, we must CHOOSE not to sin.

If already a single parent, you can expect your church to spiritually and emotional support you and your children. We, the church, are obligated to assist you to reconcile with God (Gal. 6:1)

Tell me what you think. Get involved in your local church! Expect the love of the church.


9 responses to “Responsibilities of the Church to the Singles Parent

  1. Abstinance ought to be a given for singles Men and Women. Its unfortunate that we sometimes allow ourselves to think like the world when we are as sons and daughters of the Christ, “…to in the world but not of it”. God will forgive an earnest heart but consequences will ensue if one insist to continue or start having sexual relationship outside the bonds of marriage.

    Sex is a beautiful thing God created and God had his reasons for making sex good solely in the bonds of marriage. A christian author I am reading wrote that sex binds you to another person whether or not your in love. If you break up with that person, it will feel like you’ve put your soul in a Food Processor and hit Frappe.

    Its hard yes, but oh so possible not to have sex. I practice God’s presence everyday. Think of it, and that author I am reading phrased it so well; What if Jesus was sitting in a chair in the same room while your having sexual relations outside of marriage, how well would that sit with you? Its actually true, the indwelling Holy Spirit is in us all which means you are taking Jesus along for that ride on the wild side. Its totally no worth it.

    Love yourself and love others enough to just say no or better yet don’t even get yourself in the situation. I am a single mom never married. I made my mistakes yet by the blood of the Lamb go I with a clean slate. I accept that forgiveness and do my best daily never to take it for granted.

    Pray, call on God’s name, read your Bible, pray with an Elder or brothers/sisters in Christ. We need to talk out loud about topic more.
    Jim, thanks this so needed to shared.

    Be Blessed and be a Blessing.

    Dee Dee
    James 1:27

  2. For the last couple of years we have required all of those who participate in our single’s ministry to go through a four week curriculum based on Barbara Wilson’s THE INVISIBLE BOND: HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM YOUR SEXUAL PAST. Anyone who starts showing up and attends more than a couple of events is informed that they must go through this class before they are allowed to ask any of the women out for a date. Consequently, a couple of men who I am convinced are predators, after arguing with us about being “controllers,” etc., no longer participate in events.

    After going through the program women, and to a lesser degree men, recognize the necessity of sexual purity. The main strength of the book is how Barb explains the bonding that takes place between sexual partners and how that gets in the way of bonding with the one who one day might be their mate.

    As we go through that part of the program I have seen women’s jaw drop open, literally, when they realize how relationship inhibiting and harmful sex outside of marriage is.

    Consequently, we have a growing number of women and men who are choosing a chaste lifestyle till they marry. At least this is what they tell us and based on things we find out later (i. e. one fella’s g/f broke up with him because he refused to have sex with her any longer) I am convinced the vast majority are being truthful.

    • Greg,

      Were can I find this cirriculm “Barbara Wilson’s THE INVISIBLE BOND: HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM YOUR SEXUAL PAST”?
      This sounds like an excellent must take class for men and women of any age.
      I see lots of information on purity for the 18-25 year olds but few if any is said about use oldies but goodies (40-somethings) and this is most certainly a topic of discussion and action that needs to take place. Too many of us leave our purity to chance. We all need to be proactive about what situation we can get into and how to not even go there.

      Let me know so perhaps all those interested at our church (singles) can take advantage.
      Lord willing, I would pray about even leading the class for women and encourage one of the single males to so for the guys.

  3. Dee Dee,

    You can obtain a copy of Barb’s book through Amazon or perhaps at you local bookstore (maybe try a
    Christian bookstore). The curriculum is one I developed with input and comments from several others before we presented it.

    I introdueced the material to our single’s steering committe and they all (7 of us) agreed to implement it once we obtained the approval of our elders. We did the initial 8 hour seminar on a Friday night through Saturday afternoon format to a combined group of men and women (53 attened the initial program). We were very careful to make sure that all knew this would be a mature discussion with sexual content. We also advised them that if they could not deal with this material in a mature way that perhaps they ought not come to the seminar. One of the things we have tried to address is being mature in all things and that includes sensitie material such as this. At the conclusion of the first evening we gave one man his money back and told him not to return to any more of the sessions. We’ve set high standards and have been pretty diligent to maintain them. The result is we’ve seen a lot of growth in people who have been stuck or sliding downhill for many years.

    After the initial training we then had a 4 week trainiing program for men and women (again, in a combined setting) who wanted to be mentors for others. It is from these that we now have leaders who take newcomers through the material in small group settings.

    Hope this helps in sme way.

    IF you would like a female’s perspective of this you can contact Stacy at



  4. Greg,
    that book sounds like a wonderful read and study! I have requested a copy from the library- It’s checked out at the moment, but I’m looking forward to reading it when it comes in!

    • Nicole,

      I am certain you will benefit greatly from Barb’s book. I have met Barb personally (she even autographed my copy of the book). She has a delightful personality and openly shares her own history. Enjoy!


  5. Thanks Greg,

    What a great way to handle a serious problem. Thanks for your imput and also for your ministry to singles. I think I heard her on “Focus on the Family” a few weeks ago. I will be reading her book along with the Bible real soon.

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