Communication with the Opposite Sex

I remember asking my grandfather, a man of few words, “How do you talk to girls?” He replied, “I don’t! Last time I did, your grandmother thought I liked her and we got married”

I persisted. He told me to say ” Hi Mary! That’s a nice dress.” “but grandpa” I protested. “girls aren’t wearing dresses to school anymore” He answered in all his wisdom “I guess you are on your own now,boy”

So, how do you communicate with the man or woman across the table from you? I think there are plenty of singles out there who are willing to (go on a date….have a relationship….hold hands) but it is so hard to communicate! What is she thinking? What does she like? How do I tell her that the dress makes her look fat??? Can I be honest and tell her I hate antiquing or do I have to tag along and pretend I like it?

SO….communicate about communication! What are you thinking??

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9 responses to “Communication with the Opposite Sex

  1. Wow!! Wanting to know how to communicate with the opposite sex is like going out on a mission find Noah’s Ark, it can be tough but not impossible.

    One thing I have found that works wonders, everyone can do it, and its easy; just be yourself. The more you put on aires of who your not, that special someone will never get to know the real you.

    Good communication starts with you loving all God made you to be. If there is no chemistry with the other person your seeing and your being yourself it only means you don’t have chemistry with that person not that your aren’t appealling and wonderfully designed. The beginning and the end are God. He is THE Supreme Artist. We are all special. Trust that and you will never have to worry about getting involved with a counterfiet guy or girl for you men folk (a guy or girl who says one thing but you discover he is something else entirely different).

    Best advice though: in all things PRAY people. God will help in the small and big things. Unlike the passing things of this world, God can be trusted to lead you and that special someone down a good Godly path. Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!

    Dee Dee
    Daniel 3

  2. Excellent! also remember that chemistry, like all physical attributes may decrease. You need peace and security.

  3. Generally speaking, I don’t so much have a problem talking to a guy until it comes to a guy of interest. When it comes to a guy that I am interested in, I get so nervous at the thought of talking to him that I can’t be myself. Not that I am being something fake, but nerves won’t allow the true me to surface.

    I do agree you have to be yourself otherwise its just a fake identity and one can’t hold onto that for very long and be a Christian.

    I’m curious to know how to calm my nerves and where to find a good Christian guy to date! (any of you single guys live around Winter Haven??)

    Superman where do you live? I love reading your posts! and everyone elses too! I just wonder who that guy is being that superhero identity?!!

    Nice blog Jim!

  4. Comment on Nicole’s Question. I live in Alabama, been here for most of my life. Superman is my favorite hero from my childhood days. I’ve wanted to change the name because it can be misleading, but I’m just too lazy to get on the computer and learn all about this tech stuff! Computers are boring to me but they offer a great way to communicate world wide. One thing for sure I don’t mind sharing my opinion~ LOL~

    Now communicating with the opposite sex, Well in what situation may I ask? A potential date? a colleage who works in the same field I do? A neighbor who gets on my nerves, etc. So I am going to assume that this will be a possible relationship interest.

    The first thing I want to know is she married? Good start, right? LOL, you know we have to remember that we are looking for one who is AVAILABLE. One thing I do is look for the ring but she may not have it own. So make sure the person is not married. If you are at a church function a conversational starter is the sermon topic or something related to the worship service.

    I try to find a “common interest” topic. This could be the weather, a news story, or a hobby that I know she is involved in. If the topic doesn’t get a response then you may need to carefully move to more common ground.

    Timing is so important, if you interupt someone and they don’t have time to engage in a convesation then respect their schedule and wait til a better time.

    Watch for eye contact if they are searching the room while talking to you that is a signal that something else could be on their mind.

    Always be friendly and keep a positive attitude, never take a rejection personally it is just part of this thing we call Life.

    Peace III John 2

    • thanks for replying superman. I agree that you have to find common ground and start there. I still get nervous! do you go to church where there are a lot of singles? The various churches of Christ congergations that I have been involved with aren’t bringing in the single guys. I wonder where all those guys are hiding out at??? 🙂

      • Hello Nicole,

        Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to this thread. You asked, ” if I attended a church with alot of singles? No, there are some and the age varies. I have in the past attended one of the largest COC in Alabama and we at one time had over 100 in our Sunday morning bible class. We also had a talented Singles minister which can make a wonderful difference in a ministry to singles. In order for a church to afford hiring a singles minister there has to be a fairly large membership, I would say 600 Plus. This church had 1200 members and a large metro area to draw from. If you are in a small town or a small church unfortunately there will be less singles attending. I think the church can do more but our main objective as a body of Christ is to spread his gospel and love and care for each other.

        Let me also say that having a singles ministry isn’t an automatic “date finder or a guarantee to find that “special someone”. If that is the only reason for a singles ministry then that ministry will fail. Because it was’t built on biblical concepts. A single’s ministry has to first be a place where a single can come to know Christ and become a believer then the singles ministry should help this new one grow in spiritual maturity. Next it should be uplifting, encouraging and do what it can to meet the spiritual needs of all singles and if possible, the physical needs a single may have. The last thing is the social aspect that singles need, group events, after church meals, devotionals, outings, and ofcourse the possiblity of dating and finding a christian that can lead to a lifetime partner.

        I have seen a few singles quit church when they were not being asked out, jealous of someone dating the person they had the “hot’s” for or wanted special attention all of the time. But I have also know many who found that special someone and are now happily married. So my point is, like any ministry, youth, young married, it has to be for the right purpose.

        I will post more later,

        God bless,
        \

  5. Singles ministry (in theory) is the same as any ministry. Meet people where they are and help them through Jesus’ love and example to be who God wants them to be. If churches ministered to all equally then I would have nothing to write about or do. Unfortunately, most of the money and time goes to the “traditional family” and singles, especially single parent families are overlooked.

  6. Thanks Jim,

    The point now is “How can we educate church leaders, ministers, elders and deacons, etc about the singles’ needs? We are really “preaching to the choir”, because most married christians aren’t reading this blog. I wish they would.

    Over the years I have had the opportunity to minister to some single parents. They should be commended for all the effort they put fotth in raising their children and all the other pressures of life. Singles ministeries are good but sometimes all the different ministeries in a church can segregate the congregation. Then you have only young married couples with their group, singles with their group, youth group,ctc. There has to be a way to meet each others needs and unite all the differences between us.

    One of the best ways I know of is the church meeting in small groups on Sunday night and then we break down those “tradional walls” that are present in church.

    God bless

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