Are you angry about celebacy (#2)

Interestingly, the most viewed post asked if you are angry about celebacy? But, not many comments. So, I’ll give you my view when I was single: I don’t like being alone at night!!!! I’m a nice, handsome guy….what’s wrong with me??? Why do I have to suffer this when alot of others are with someone? Why does this build character? Didn’t David have alot of wives? Why wait on someone you don’t know? I know it honors GOD, so why am I still lonely? I’m not angry, just very frustrated!
I’m just looking for a place to land. Seek ye first the kingdom of GOD and HIS righteousness…and all these things will be given you…Even a mate???


13 responses to “Are you angry about celebacy (#2)

  1. Well, I am not mad because I have had opportunities where I could have someone to come home to. Maybe not on a regular basis but at times. I am more frustrated because the christian mate has not come into my life. I choose to wait or not live a sinful life or be married to the wrong person. I would like to find someone to walk along side with God’s will the purpose of our lives.

  2. The wisdom of waiting on a Christian mate includes much patience and frustration. Another responsibility of the church is to assist parents to raise Godly offspring, suitable companions and good servants to one another. I hope you find the right person.

  3. I love that you are re-visiting this topic. Hope we lots of responses.

    No I am not angry about celebacy. Yes I would very much like to be with a Godly man but choose waiting over just settling for anyone. That no longer is good enough for me.
    Celebacy is a gift. People mistake gifts sometimes as all wonderful. Yes the plus side of celebacy: You please the Father by remaining pure mind body and spirit, you don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases. The only real downside is really also a plus: the WAITING, agggh will it ever end? Maybe, or maybe not. I never thought I could remain celebate this long but I have to give credit to God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Gift of the Holy Spirit. All 3 hold me accountable to Him in a loving way. I always have free will. I agree with Amy that the opportunity to stray exist all the time, in church and out. I always have a choice. Yet, since I had made such terrible choices in the past and have suffered the tyranny of consequences I try to keep in mind what it was like to make a bone-head choice and I go with God. Its hard. I get lonely too. And just because I am his child does not mean I don’t get lonley too. I am fearfully and wonderfully made like all God’s children with those same desires: good and not so good. Spending time in fellowship with like-minded souls in church, prayer, reading God’s word sets me for success. But when I need real kick in the posterior assets, I call on my sisters in Christ to pray me thru.

    I love that God saved me from myself. I love that I gave my choice of a mate (or not as He Wills) to God. He know everything, about everyone, at anytime past, present and future. Why not trust God to choose for you to His Glory? Pray specifically for help with Celabacy. Its not easy yes but…”all things are possible. Be Blessed and Be a Blessing.

    Dee Dee
    Romans 8:28

  4. Ok, yes I am very upset about celabacy. I was married for over 15 years when my spouse passed. I miss sex, everything about it, and yes I want it again, soon. I don’t like the empty bed. Some/most say its a sin. Well I feel that God stole my spouse from me. And is stealing a sin? I want my spouse back. and yes I’m angry about that. I’m angry that I don’t have help raisng the kids. I’m angry that my spouse isn’t here to share my our good times and bad. I most likey will not ever remarry. So, I will have sex again. Sorry if this offends anyone, and if it does, I’m offended that you are offended.

    • First I am so sorry for your loss. I too thank you for your brutal honesty. I don’t know what its like to have someone in your life that long and then not have them. I am so sorry your experiencing that kind of pain. I have no words to soothe, I am just sad for you and with you.
      Be blessed and be a blessing,

      Dee Dee
      Psalm 69:20-21
      Psalm 38:11-12, 21-22

  5. Thank you for your honesty. I know that many share your feelings. I hope you will please God by finding and marrying a strong Christian. God understands your emotional and physical desires.

  6. Dear Yes, Im upset. You have been given a tough pill to swallow. So I cannot even imagine your pain, so as brothers and sisters we are to “lift each other up in prayer” You don’t need anyone to tell you how to run your life and whatever you choose it will be your decision. I appreciate your upfront honesty, which is something we need so greatly in our church body.
    Let’s all be honest and admit we go and repeat basically the same routine every time we attend worship. What we really need is to be totally honest with each other and confess our sins to each other, then the healing can begin and hopefully better decisions can be made. A sin is a sin, we can’t distinguish between one that is “not so bad” and another “really bad”. Since God made us all with different desires and weaknesses, we need that support network that the church is meant to be. Right now you need a prayer/support brother or sister. Someone who you can trust and be confident they have your best interest at heart. Now think about this, do you really think that having a sexual partner will take away the pain you feel? Can it take the place of the 15 years of marriage where you loved and shared the most intimate of pleasures in God’s will? This is not a judgement statement but I’m asking to look beyond what is your present circumstance and locate what you can best do to move on, as near impossible it may seem. God bless as always….III John 2

  7. Having a “sex partner” doesn’t soothe the mind or soul. But, a good sex life is an indicator of emotional bonding. I want someone to “be with” but I certainly want it to be a special, intimate experience. The same with all my life experiences. Don’t want to go through the motions.

    • I agree 100%. Once has to truly be bonded on a spritually and physical level. I learned that the hard way. Now that I am forgiven, I have piece to know waiting is better than just settleing.

  8. Thanks for all the comments, but it still doesn’t help. Why am I being punshied for something I didn’t have any control over. It’s my fault that my spouse passed away? So, now I’m being punshed? I don’t like it and still am very angry about this. When I meet “a” “christian” person, wellllll let me tell you, they are few and far between here in FL, for that matter, the SE, for that matter the south, for that matter the USA. I am being very picky about a “mate”, the ones I have met have been married 2 or MORE times, or are to young for me, or are to judgemental, or are “perfect”, etc.

  9. Dear Yes,I’m upset.

    If I am reading your post correctly, you are stating that you feel God selectively choose to punish you by taking away your wife? How do you know that? What would God gain by killing people’s spouces or taking their kids in a car accident, cancer, diabetes, murder? The list could go on.

    You know not long a go a COC minister was killed by his wife and it made national headlines. She got 6 weeks in jail or something like that. I know his brother who attends where my parents go. Is he being punished also by losing his brother? I can’t follow your reasoning. There is a great book called, “when bad things happen to good people” it talks alot about what you are feeling. Life is full of these disaapointments and heartaches which none of us have the answer to. This blog is simply that, a blog You have a cross that only you can bear. The good news is that you will be reunited with your sponse in heaven one day. That should be your goal and that of helping your children grow in faith and love.

    The dating scene.. it has no guarantees. I have been dating for over 30 years, I finally realized that I alone cannot make it happen. So it is a question I don’t have an answer too. When we don’t have the answers there can only be one direction to turn and that is upward. Anger can be a good thing if it pushes you to a new level of spiritual growth.

  10. I think we must remember why celibacy is important to the christian example. In the ancient word sex was idolized and a part of pagan rituals. Today it is also idolized in a way that is unhealthy. We also have alot of unhealthy approaches to “dating” that don’t reflect the Biblical example of allowing family perspective and choosing a mate in a godly amnner. Maybe a future blog. I can tell you that celibacy protected me from stupidity when I was single again!

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