I remember reading “Fire or Ice”, poetry (that did not rhyme) debating what would be worse, to burn or freeze forever. THe same debate could be made about loosing a mate to death or divorce.
*the one you chose to spend your life with is still gone. If you have been married for many years (let’s pick….50) your life as you know it is gone. everything changes. Friends act different, the house is empty.
*support and compassion is needed. Regardless of the circumstance, understanding and involvement is necessary. Pain is intense and depression and anxiety can overwhelm.
*friends and family are great… for a few weeks, then expect the person to “get over it”
*faith, prayer and meditation are needed and helpful. Of course, Jesus knows our pain. He felt it first hand, didn’t he.
We can be a great friend when someone is going through loss. Be there for them. Presence is powerful! Don’t say much. It does not help and there are no magic words. Help the person to get through everyday life. Provide a meal, a movie rental or a companion to go to the store with (just having someone to share the moment with can be so important). Let the person grieve appropriately. Don’t “cheer them up” constantly. It usually doesn’t work and then we are sad. Be a friend. Love them where they are are at and don’t expect too much too soon. Time will heal much but it “takes time”.
(Good divorce blog on danny dodd’s blog.) More next week!
College age retreat Memorial Weekend. Info at http://www.NACofC.org/singlesretreat