Where to find someone to date……………

    * disclaimer- we are talking about Christian singles*

Where do you find someone to date? What about e-harmony? church singles services? There are two approaches to finding someone to date: 1) go out and find someone 2) sit home and wait on them to come to you (BEWARE UPS MAN!). So, I’ll opine on how I would do this if it were me.

I would get deeply involved in my church singles group. I would attend every outing and also visit other churches and meet their singles. I would eat and study Bible anywhere I was asked. I would check the LAUNCH singles link (Atlanta trip-June) and join in when I could. I would sign up and travel on my churches summer MISSION trip and build houses in Honduras or help with camp in Lithuania or whatever I could do to be helpful. I would also join the local Junior League or attend events like Relay for Life, AHA, or Easter Seals and participate in community service. The cream rises to the top and the best people are found giving their time to others.

I would take a intensive personal inventory of myself. How am I physically, emotionally and spiritually. I would hope to find someone who was similar in all three categories. Though I once refused a blind date with Kathy Ireland, I recognize that I am not as cute, smart or charming as I once was. (Girls, I know you all want brad Pitt but…….)

I would sign up with e-harmony, churchofchristsingles or another service which explores personality and emotion.

But, most importantly, I would seek GOD first (Matt. 6:33) and let HIM provide what I need. The nice thing about letting GOD control your life is that you have a standard of excellence. Jesus. And dating by Jesus standards keeps us our of bad situations. JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!

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6 responses to “Where to find someone to date……………

  1. I agree 100%!!

    All of your suggestion are excellent, especially the personal inventory. The way the world dates is always looking at what your getting i.e. Mr or Ms Perfect but never hazarding a thought to what do you have to offer a mate: how long have you been a Christian? are you an encourager? are you good with money/bad? like sports?

    Taking stock matters because if you know who you are and Christ is who you stand for and with, you won’t settle for any less than the best He has for you. Its a struggle at times but oh so worth the work and wait! :O)

    God Bless to you all and allow the example of Christ Jesus to take the lead in all you do in dating.

    In Him,

    Dee Dee

  2. I would have to say that Brad Pitt wouldn’t be my first choice of celebrities, but ……
    I have to say that right now I am dealing with a huge craving to have a “signifigant other”, and trying to accept that God isn’t wanting me to be with someone, at least for now anyways.

    I guess its always in the back of my mind that anywhere I go, I could meet a potential mate, but rarely do I go to events looking for that. I love when I return home from a singles event, and people ask….so did you meet anyone????? (of course my response, “yes, I met EVERY single person there)… I have to say this is the first year that I’ve seen guys close to my age at conference, but usually there isn’t many if at all. And I pretty much am it at my congergation as far as the singles go.

    I honestly don’t know where to go to find a Christian guy. I”ve joined those dating websites, e-harmony, match.com, churchofchristsingles, loveandseek… I’ve went on dates, and may I add have met some real bizzare guys. I just keep praying that maybe one day, (if I’m good) God will send me my knight in shining armor rather than a loser in aluminum foil. (haha… laugh here)

    It seems like everyone around me are getting married or having babies. Last year, two of my co-workers (and friends) got married, and both just had a baby. (two different couples… and 2 babies) About 2 weeks ago, I went to a wedding, and next month I have 3 more to go to. And then in the fall, I will have 2 more. They are so happy and in love, and I feel jealous. I’m praying on that….trust me. Sometimes it feels like a twisting knife when they say… well you’ll be the one I’m throwing the boquet to. YIKES….. please don’t.
    On Friday, one of the ladies from my congergation, got engaged. I saw the ring this morning after services, and my jaw hit the floor. While I’m happy for them, I felt deeply saddened at the same time. I don’t understand that. She proceeded to tell me, I’m not doing a boquet toss, I’m just going to pretend, and then hand it right to you. You’re next….. My thoughts… (No.. I didn’t say this…) What weekend are you getting married??? Ummm I think I have a singles event that night.

    I know I’m rambling…and worse whinning… but I just don’t want to made to feel bad because I’m single. It’s not the black plague people, it’s a marital status.

    I know I’m not ready for marriage. I’m really trying hard to straighten some things out, and taking my own inventory is tough. I’m trying so hard to get right with God, and put Him first.

    Thankfully (counting my blessings here) God has put some pretty terriffic people in my life, that when the going gets tough, I can call on them.

    I don’t know if this made sense or not, I’m kinda off topic here, but I needed to get some things off my chest, and this blog loosely related.

    God Bless,
    Nichole

  3. Thanks to both of you for great posts! I know how hard it is to find someone who is as committed to GOD and both attractive and intellectually stimulating. Back when I started our first singles ministry, I was saddened and surprised that many of my fellow pew sitters were involved in the same activities as those not attending church. Also, marriage doesn’t cure flaws, it magnifies them. We work very hard at marriage.

  4. Well, I would love to get involved in a church singles group — if one existed for people over 30. But they don’t around here. Does the church think that if you’re not married or remarried by that time, you’re not worth the ministry anymore?

    Nicole, I love your thoughts. The “aluminum foil” line is officially added to my list of all-time favorite quotes! No, you’re not whining. You’re honestly expressing your heart, and that’s what the church desperately needs to hear. So that’s why I appreciate this blog so much.

    I signed up for eharmony and found only one person in six months who wanted to communicate. Saw LOTS of interesting people, like the physician in Virginia who had a pet WOLF (no, I’m not making this up!) I also signed up for a dating service last fall because a friend of mine did it and met a TON of men. I have met three since November, and none of them are even remotely closely matched to me. So I hope it wasn’t a bad investment.

    I am going back to community service and hope to start Habitat for Humanity this month. I’m going to focus on getting out more with other people across the city, not just people from my church, and on actually DOING things, not just sitting in a line at a Bible study class, where people don’t look at each other or talk to each other once they leave the room.

    But what I’m wondering is. . . where are the single MEN in their 40s in the church? I used to attend a mega church with 3000+ members. I can count on one hand the number of single men in their 40s I saw there. It’s the same at my new church. I would love to marry a born-again Christian man and have the “ideal” Christian marriage. But, quite frankly, I think that’s very unlikely due to the lack of available Christian men.

  5. It’s hard to find a good match. The men tell me the same thing. Sometimes the individuals who are a good match can’t see it. I’ll give 2 examples. My suave and sophisticated, very spiritual buddy is still unmarried. I introduced heim to a co-worker, a nurse who had been raised as a missionary’s daughter. They were both outgoing, attractive and waiting on GOD to provide. But, they were so COMFORTABLE with one another that my friend said “she feels like my sister”. Perfect match but no challenge. They both moved on to heartache with EXCITING people. Same thing happened recently with a young lady. She had a sweet, respectful boyfriend. Dumped him. He was too comfortable.

  6. Take that inventory. Yes, it’s hard…but well worth it. Then, work on the weak areas. I have tried the web stuff, even yahoo chat. Met one out of 20 that could have been a real deal. We are still friends but are not on the same page towards God. He has since moved on to a lady that has the same beliefs as him.

    Why is there still such a stigma with the singles? Why do other’s think we are always the “bad one” when we’ve been through a divorce? Why do people not understand that forgiven, is forgiven? We are Christians and sinners like any other Christian.

    I am involved with my church’s singles group, which is a bible study and a support group (ie Life group)…other opportunities are limited due to the amount of work related travel and family obligations.

    I am getting so tired of trying…so tired of being lonely…and “need” that special companion. I know I cannot give up, Jesus did not give up on us. I say my prayers, and know that God knows best. Maybe, I think I am ready but He sees that I have more work on me before I will be ready…my mate maybe in a similar situation. God is the only 1 that knows.

    It is good to hear that I am not the only one with problems in finding a mate. Thank-you for blogging!

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