Priorities (part 2)

Accountability- I could use fellowship but many believe fellowship to be conversation about the weather, football, wraslin’, hunting, fishing, shopping, scrapbooking or TV shows. THIS IS NOT FELLOWSHIP! It is what we do with people that WE DON’T KNOW VERY WELL! Accountability deals with temptations, sins, bad habits and behavior. Accountability fights against infidelity, pornography, violence. Accountability strengthens relationships and helps a person be closer to GOD.

Maturity- Doesn’t mean we’re worried about getting older (we are…..) and have gray hair or less hair or blue hair…..wrinkles….No, Christian maturity shows an ability to be teachable, be empowered, be accountable. It shows that we are learning what is important.

for example:  a baby believer attends every service because he HAS to. A mature Christian worships because he knows what is important and wants to. A new believer worries about old songs and new songs. A mature Christian knows they are all new songs, compared to an eternal GOD. A baby believer worries about fellowship with the wrong person. A mature Christian knows it is our responsibility to lead all to a better relationship with God. A baby believer keeps the list of what is right. A mature Christian wants to be on the list of the saved. It’s time to grow up, don’t you think?


The priorities for the Christian Single (pt. 1)

Read the page to the right: Remembering what others do for us. A Memorial day remembrance>>>>

If asked to prioritize the needs of the Christian Single, what would you say? Would the most significant need be….a class to meet a mate? to keep a mate? to be content living alone? to learn how to fit into the local church?

One of the most important things to me would be: Teach to honor and learn the Bible. Study scripture! Read the version of your choice (NKJV, NIV, CEV, NCM…) whether in book form or the net (Biblegateway). Listen to Bible on tape or CD (the new Bible Experience-excellent). Pray! Praise GOD, petition Him for those who are suffering, Thank Him, and meditate (listen). Accountability to others is crucial (true fellowship). Confess your sins one to another. Trust God! He is in control.

Once you learn what the bible says, Take responsibility for your actions. Be EMPOWERED by scripture! The great commission tells YOU to GO…Preach…make disciples…baptize…..Each of us has permission to live and tell the Good News.

Faith is an action verb

Next week: pt. 2 Assess and Mature

Losing a mate through death or divorce……

     I remember reading “Fire or Ice”, poetry (that did not rhyme) debating what would be worse, to burn or freeze forever. THe same debate could be made about loosing a mate to death or divorce.

*the one you chose to spend your life with is still gone. If you have been married for many years (let’s pick….50) your life as you know it is gone. everything changes. Friends act different, the house is empty.

*support and compassion is needed. Regardless of the circumstance, understanding and involvement is necessary. Pain is intense and depression and anxiety can overwhelm.

*friends and family are great… for a few weeks, then expect the person to “get over it”

*faith, prayer and meditation are needed and helpful. Of course, Jesus knows our pain. He felt it first hand, didn’t he.

     We can be a great friend when someone is going through loss. Be there for them. Presence is powerful! Don’t say much. It does not help and there are no magic words. Help the person to get through everyday life. Provide a meal, a movie rental or a companion to go to the store with (just having someone to share the moment with can be so important). Let the person grieve appropriately. Don’t “cheer them up” constantly. It usually doesn’t work and then we are sad. Be a friend. Love them where they are are at and don’t expect too much too soon. Time will heal much but it “takes time”.

(Good divorce blog on danny dodd’s blog.) More next week!

College age retreat Memorial Weekend. Info at

The JOY of kids

     Blessed and busy. We have had the privilege of meeting alot of interesting people through my job at Covenant Hospice. Great job!

     Had our picture taken with Darren Norwood (country) and free tickets to Randy Travis (from a friend). Have Lisa Welchel’s (facts of life)autograph (thanks to a friend). Meet a few CEO’s here and there.

     Let me tell you what’s really important. Family, faith……….Sara (18) made Dean’s list (all A’s including statistics) at Middlesex College in NJ. Jessica (7)all A’s in first grade. Jameson (6) excelling in other areas. What a blessing to have children who love you. And what a responsibility! I saw each come in the world and am still amazed at the speed of growth. Yes, I’m a proud parent. I also recognize how much harder Sara had it because her mom and I divorced. So, if I had 4 words to sum it all up to my kids, what would I say?

* please stay in school  (not bad)

* always do your homework

*do help one another

*because I said so (I have said this……………)


     Yes, I like that. The rest will come as GOD wills.

Where to find someone to date……………

    * disclaimer- we are talking about Christian singles*

Where do you find someone to date? What about e-harmony? church singles services? There are two approaches to finding someone to date: 1) go out and find someone 2) sit home and wait on them to come to you (BEWARE UPS MAN!). So, I’ll opine on how I would do this if it were me.

I would get deeply involved in my church singles group. I would attend every outing and also visit other churches and meet their singles. I would eat and study Bible anywhere I was asked. I would check the LAUNCH singles link (Atlanta trip-June) and join in when I could. I would sign up and travel on my churches summer MISSION trip and build houses in Honduras or help with camp in Lithuania or whatever I could do to be helpful. I would also join the local Junior League or attend events like Relay for Life, AHA, or Easter Seals and participate in community service. The cream rises to the top and the best people are found giving their time to others.

I would take a intensive personal inventory of myself. How am I physically, emotionally and spiritually. I would hope to find someone who was similar in all three categories. Though I once refused a blind date with Kathy Ireland, I recognize that I am not as cute, smart or charming as I once was. (Girls, I know you all want brad Pitt but…….)

I would sign up with e-harmony, churchofchristsingles or another service which explores personality and emotion.

But, most importantly, I would seek GOD first (Matt. 6:33) and let HIM provide what I need. The nice thing about letting GOD control your life is that you have a standard of excellence. Jesus. And dating by Jesus standards keeps us our of bad situations. JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!